On Anger Management

What is anger?

Anger is a normal emotion with kids and with adults. When something happens or someone interferes with a person in a negative manner, it can cause them to become very angry.
Anger is a normal response to such a situation. Anger can be classed as a mild or intense irritation all the way to total rage. Depending on the individual, the circumstance and their emotions, even mild irritation to you or me may cause a different person to become enraged or furious.

What is Anger Management?

It’s pretty simple, controlling anger is considered anger management. The first step to controlling anger issues it to admit there is a problem. Some people have major anger issues but can’t see them or deny the issues even exist.

Indications that a person needs Anger Management

People who have problems admitting to their anger and accepting responsibility for their actions often blame others for their problems.

People who have difficulty seeing any part of the situation as their fault. There is always something or someone to blame for their anger. Their fits of anger and temper tantrums are always blamed on something else.

These people could really use a few lessons in anger management. However they need to accept their actions and reactions for what they are, anger. It’s really hard if they don’t understand what they are so angry about.

People who get angry act in different ways. Some lash out or become very defensive. Other people tend to keep their anger to themselves, bottling up their negative emotions and pain. While some people become reckless and even abusive. Anger can be a very harmful emotion if it isn’t controlled or managed in the correct way.


The Importance of Anger Management

Many people who have anger issues find it demeaning when anger management is suggested. They see it, most of the time as a control issue and they don’t want to admit they aren’t always in control of themselves. Inability to accept their anger problem prevents them from seeking the help they require.

If someone continues down a road where they are constantly angry and acting out, it will eventually cause major problems in their life. Without anger management they will possibly face the loss of their family, the loss of their job and loss of their own sense of self.
It’s necessary to convince the person that anger management is not a punishment but rather to help them have a better quality of life. Anger management is designed to help the individual work out their problems, help them figure out why they become so angry and what they can do to keep it from happening.

It also teaches the person not to be enslaved by their emotions, their anger. Anger management is meant to teach the person techniques which prevent them from getting angry as often or for very long so they can remain in control of themselves, their words and their actions.
There are all sorts of anger management strategies. There are programs created specifically to help those with anger issues. These programs are broken down to help all ages of people, kids, teens, adults, seniors, couples and families.

These anger management programs are in place to teach or help people to work on their emotional states, from mild irritation to rage. Teaching people strategies for working out their problems and controlling their anger are important in management of the problem.


Anger may be a healthy, normal emotion but when it takes over an individual’s life making them destructive and violent, it’s a big problem. Not only does the anger destroy the individual but it also impacts everyone and everything around them. Anger management could change this individual and ensure a healthy, normal life.

If you know anyone with an anger problem you might be able to help them by learning something about the problem.

(It's not that I possess a destructive behavior due to my anger. But this article has been very helpful to me in recognizing and controlling my anger and helping others to realize such problem.)

The Secret Language of Birthdays - September 18

*** I got this info tidbits on people who were born under September 18. Well, some of them are right and some of them are not. Still, as long as we live, we have the will and power to change for the better, and not be stereotyped by other people's notions and ideas. With it, may you be enlightened ...some way...some how ;)

Text from: The Secret Language of Birthdays Copyright 1994
September 18 - The Day of Internal Mystery

Those born on September 18 are very private, even secretive people who for one reason or another often find themselves in very public careers. Their world is a highly personal one to which entrance is not granted easily. They can be depended on, but perhaps not forever, because with great finality and suddenness they are capable of closing the door on a friendship or a love relationship. Thus they may be dangerous people to get involved with unless their partners are prepared for their changes of heart.

Those born on this day are capable of attaining tremendous success, but they can be equally hounded by repeated failure and plain bad luck. The theme of beauty is central to their lives. They are highly sensitive to any kind of strife, violance or bitter competition, which they would just soon avoid. The fact is that September 18 people are not capable of handling a lot of stress and despite their often imposing or attractive appearance may also not be blessed with the highest degree of self confidence.

When Spetember 18 people are faced with complex problems, however, they respond to the challenge well, because basically they enjoy figuring things out. They really do want to understand, and in order to do that they often sequester or isolate themselves from the world, so that they can conduct their internal investigations in private. Thoughtful, rumitive and deep people, they take life very seriously, perhaps too seriuosly.

Most September 18 people have a special relationship with worship or belief, whether realized in personal development, artistic expression, or social interaction. Because of their devotional nature, they do well in studies and lifestyles which demand unbroken concentration and attention, as well as a submerging of their own ego. This suppresion of their affect can create emotional difficulties, but may also produce an air of mystery about them that makes them highly attractive. One must know when to approach those born on September 18, and when to leave them alone. More than most other people, success in a relationship with them will depend on a mates ability to be sensitive to this timing.

September 18 people are often found far from their original home, either geographically or emotionally, and some born on this day prefer not to be reminded of their past. In general, they leave what is past behind and rarely reopen a closed issue or failed relationship.

Last Goodbye (The Finale)

I did not turned my back, because I made up my mind. I am his and he is mine.

And it happened.

I'm too deliciously exhausted to turn and open my eyes. But I couldn't help smiling and chuckling as chin gently scraped my cheek. Well, obviously we both did not regret this. But I felt an inkling. I am not a Saint. And I'm tired of following the rules, isn't it not okay to break the rules once in a while. To be normal? I know in my heart that this is not a one-night stand. Nor he'll dare to make me his mistress. He has scruples! And so do I. My thoughts simply vanished as I dared to turn and to catch his lips.

Inevitably, it happened again.

He invited me to a trip in a faraway land, a place of his childhood. No one knew him there now, his family left when he was five. So it's a safe getaway. It's nearby the ancient ruins by the sea. Of course, I was too excited, too nervous...and too joyful to care about the scruples, for this affair. We both knew that it'll our last days together. So we have to make the most out of it. There is no turning back, it's now or never. So I chose - now, no regrets.

I couldn't believe myself for my ability to fabricate lies, to make grand excuses because I am so eager to be with him again. We flew in to different planes but landed on the same airport. I never knew that I could be so daringly mad to pull off this stunt. But I did. All because of crazy, freaking, mad love! Till this day, no one knew where I have been during those days. I guess being secretive is somewhat natural to me.

There, we both became what we wanted. Free from all the cares, laws, rules and responsibilities. Not to mention, free from prying eyes and wagging tongues back home. It was bordering hedonism, I'd say. We wined and dined, flirted and danced, swam and ran, even fought and made-up. People oftenly mistaken us for a newly wed couple, which we laugh it off. Lovely mistake! I couldn't help but smile to his boyish grin when he saw my surprise as he registered our name in the hotel as Mr & Mrs. There were days that we spent most of the time outdoors, but mostly indoors indulging to sensual abandonment.

As our days become shorter, I willed myself not to become depressed as our last moment nears. We never talked about the future together but dream of things we wanted to fulfill. He urged me to go back to school and be a teacher as I wanted or planned to be when I was in my teens. When you wanted something, you may or can do everything in your hand to get it, he said. I was silent for a moment. I'm not sure if I'm pondering on being a teacher or being a looser for not having him. I did not do everything to have him. He must have read my thoughts. He said 'It's not your fault, nor mine. It's just that we are not fated to be together. In both ways, we could be proud and at the same time be ashamed of having the guts for defying the Divine righteousness. That's why we are both here, to be together. Even for a moment'

I couldn't breathe. He's hugging me too tight. And so do I. So this is it. The end of our story. There's next chapter for both us with different people, he said. Ours ends here. Find yourself someone who will love you more than I and more than you love yourself. Be keen to what they do and not to what they say! You're smart, so be more confident with yourself. Don't let anyone walk over you. Pray harder if you must! Life is too short so don't waste it to some looser! Then he roughly kissed my neck, cheek and lips. I don't care if people are staring at us. Though we are in the middle of busy passengers area in the airport.

We will flew in to different airline but I won't get to see his plane land at the airport back home. He'll be leaving for good, back to his wife and kids in the country near Indian Ocean. Willing ourselves not to cry, we bade goodbye in between the exchange of kisses. With, one last hard kiss and off we go to separate ways.

That's the last time I saw him. It's the end of it. Embracing life with more passion, I will live it with no regrets. Yes, I could have another man in my life, but I am sure not as intense as this nor I'll be as passionate as I am to him. He's the one that got away. I am a career woman, first and he, a family man. Time to face my world with renewed sense of being. I went back to school, and changed job. I avoided to rush everything to put any matter in a new perspective. I'm having more fun now than when I was younger. I am simply living life...not yet to the fullest, but I know...I'm getting there.

The Scar That Made Me Beautiful

I hate my scar...I hate myself.

As a child, that's what I used to say when I look in the mirror and see nothing but my big and deep scar, which I got from a dog bite when I was a toddler.

My father told me that I was playing with my food giving a spoonful to our dog. As a 2 year old toddler,our dog Snooky was my playmate, so instead of biting from the spoon that I gave to him he bit my right cheek. He said, I was hospitalized and operated in the E.R. because of my bleeding cheek. The doctors need to treat me asap because, unfortunately, our mutt Snooky has rabies. Hence, their rescue mission left me with a big scar in my cheek that left me insecure for years.

As I grew up, my scar became the subject of conversation or an ice-breaker to anyone who just met me or already knew me. Obviously, it was so freaking awkward. As a little girl, my classmates and playmates would really tease me mercilessly for having big scar on my face. I got the name 'Scar-face' or 'Mukhang may Peklat' from other kids. But to my childish awe and wonder, I gained friends. Not a lot but a few, buddies that aside from my younger siblings, that I can share my toys, stories and snacks with. Maybe, because my parents instilled being good to others, I'll be likeable.

There was a time when I went to our family doctor with my mom. Since, my scar made me very shy, I don't really look the strangers in the eye. The kind doctor tilted my chin, egged me to look in his eyes and gently turned to my right cheek. Then he told me and my Mom, that I have a pretty face but with an ugly scar. 'You need to smile more, hija, so that people will see your dimples instead of your scar' he said. But he suggested to my Mom that when I grew up, I can have a plastic surgery to have my scar removed. That time, plastic surgery wasn't so acceptable and available as today. To my childish mind, it's somewhat akin to a magic wand or wish from a genie, because it dispels something so ugly. Vaguely, I instantly wish that I'm a grown up, with a lot of money to have a plastic surgery, so that I can be beautiful. Little did I know then that I just commited a deadly sin at a very young age. Vanity - ever so subtle vanity. Not exactly subtle, isn't it?

During my adolescense, I'm still the butt of ugly jokes. Now, not with just with my scar, but having such a weird name. And I did either that I ignored them or cried secretly or fought back. Though, I know I have been good but alas, they were not to me. I cried really hard (secretly), when my pretty and bitchy classmate drew a sketch of me exaggerating my scar. From then, I made up my mind, that I'm gonna study hard and work harder to save for my plastic surgery. I don't feel any guilt for this influx of sheer vanity. I know I have the right to become beautiful so that I will be accepted and fell so normal like all the girls my age. Being a good girl or intelligent is not enough. The cliche 'Beauty is within' is simply a crap, to me it is made and said by ugly but kind and smart people, who wanted to make themselves feel good. My smiles become lesser because of this fierceness lurking inside of me. To me, this is what the ugly thing that all-girls school taught me. A stronger dose of Vanity.

So how come my scar made me beautiful?

I simply opened my eyes and look around and view farther and beyond. Thanks to my 20/20 vision! Seriously. I simply grew up for real, not just with the added years to my age, but with my heart and mind. I came to realize that beauty, like anything in this world, comes in different shapes, sizes, color, feel and even smell. Being in different places, different people have different definition or perception of beauty.

To simplify - beauty is something that pleases our senses. In my case, I realized that being true to myself is beautiful enough. Maybe not enough for me; but, yes to others, I am beautiful. No conceit here, but it's not just friends that I gained as I got older. A few admirers as well - young and old men of different colors.

My scar made me feel humbled to realize that beauty isn't everything, but simply part of a person's wholeness. Seeing it in a whole new light, it made me realize that my scar serve as a gauge to people I relate or associate with. It functions as a filter to those people who chooses or approve others based on their looks. Not with their personality nor intentions. With it, I never knew that such imperfection would have such a perfect role in my life. With an open mind, I am able to see and feel that in one way or another, of how much blessed I am for having the things and people, that others wished could have. A deeper realization proved that God gave each and every one of us a gift of Beauty. He simply wrapped it differently for each of us, waiting to be unwrapped and reveled by our Senses.

In time, my scar became smaller, less deeper. It always leaves a smile to my face, when I look at the mirror. I no longer said that I hated myself for having this scar. How could I? When I know that having it, made me Beautiful.


Oh, by the way, I didnt get to save for my plastic surgery. Since it's so impossibly expensive, I simply bought a very trusty concealer, for my scar. Vanity? Yes, forgivable feminine vanity.

Family Recipes : Mommy's Pineapple Cheese Sandwhich Spread

In my childhood (and actually till now) my parents never indulge our (me and my siblings) cravings for junk food, because it's not good for our health - which was true, till now. So in our lunchboxes, aside from mandatory rice and savory dish, my mother would stuff it with sandwiches, biscuits and packed fruit juices.

Though what we usually eat is loaded with nutrients, it still is a very boring meal. It was then when we didn't finish nor ate our baon, my mother would whip up this Pineapple & Cheese Sandwich Spread,; especially, when my siblings and got tired of the usual tuna or cheese spread. She learned this recipe from her Home Economics teacher back in high school.

Ingredients :

1 can of crushed pineapple (350g)

1 whole cheddar cheese (approx. 250g)

1. Strain crushed pineapple and gently press the pulp to the strainer. Avoid pressing too much juice, so that it won't be too dry.

2. Grate 1 whole 250g cheese to the pineapple.

3. Mix them together until the grated cheese adhered to the pineapple.

4. Spread it in a soft or toasted bread.

5. Place it in a clean container and store in the refrigerator. Maximum shelf life is 1 month as long as it keeps refrigerated.



For me, I consider this to be my comfort food. I always relish every bite. The subtle saltiness of cheese clashing to the sweet and sour soft to crispy texture of crushed pineapple simply burst in your mouth. Of course, I almost forgot to mention that my Mom's spread is rich in calcium, iron and Vitamin C. And yes, nutritious food doesn't have to be boring. Bon appetit!

Me and My Cocktails

Frankly, I am not a much of a drinker...because I hardly drink at all. Though when I occassionally do, I prefer something that somehow pleases my tastebuds. Translation : bordering non-alcoholic drinks .....On the top of my list is the classic red wine, which hardly made me tipsy after drinking half of a bottle. Also, its relative - the chi-chi champagne, which I wish I could have any moment, fruity soda priced a thousand times to your average Diet Coke. Of course, there's the light beer, which made me tipsy after 4 bottles (reasonable, i guess). Lastly, the margarita, which tasted more like of a mixed fruit juices of sorts.

Although, I tried really hard drinks (unwillingly with coercion from my "pro-drinkers" friends and cousins) such as tequila, gin, brandy, rhum, whiskey and the strongest of them all -lambanog; which I all drank straight! (Not simultaneously, Silly! One at a time of course!) Much to my disgust, because of my gag reflex to the taste and smell of pure alcohol. Of course, there's vodka, which I'm a bit partial to its taste of some imported brands. That is why, I am sharing two of my favorite vodka-based cocktails. Have fun in making them with your buds!

Cheers!!!

Black Russian

Preparation : Time 5 minutes

Ingredients : (serves 1) Ice cubes, to serve

45ml Kahlua liqueur

45ml vodka

Method :

1. Fill a serving glass with ice.

2. Pour over the Kahlua and vodka. Use a swizzle stick or spoon to stir.

Notes Variation: For a Cola Black Russian, fill a tall glass with ice. Pour over the Kahlua and vodka. Top up with cola. Stir and serve.

Cape Codd ( The Mother or Grandmother of Cosmopolitan)

Preparation : 5 minutes

Ingredients 2 ounces vodka

2 or 3 ounces cranberry juice cocktail

1/2 ounce lime juice

club soda

Method:

1. Pour vodka (or white rum) into a tall glass,

2. Add cranberry juice cocktail, the juice of half a lime (some leave this out,) and a couple of ice cubes.

3. Top off with club soda or seltzer (some leave this out - a real Cape Code never leave this out!).

4. Garnish, if you wish, with a slice of lime and/or a sprig of mint.

Notes Variation: For Cosmopolitan, add Triple Sec and remove club soda. Shake it well with ice in the cocktail shaker. Strain into large cocktail glass, then garnish with lime wheel.

Popcorn Moments : 500 Days of Summer

Summary :

Preppy and dreamy Tom Hansen, a trained architect but works as a writer in a greeting card company, meets the carefree and fascinating Summer Finn in Los Angeles. Though he's very much attracted to her since Day 1, it took him a month to reluctantly admit that he likes Summer, with the help of his drunk and babbling friend, McKenzie. Over the few months, Summer and Tom grow closer, despite Summer making it clear to Tom that she does not believe in true love, and does not want a boyfriend - albeit, they made trips to Ikea showrooms, role-playing as husband and wife, had shower sex and stuff.

Tom shows Summer his favorite spot in the city, which looks out over a number of buildings he likes, although the view is spoiled by car parks. After a few weeks dating, Tom gets into a fight with a guy chatting up Summer, and they have their first argument.

On day 290, Summer and Tom split up after they see The Graduate, a film which Tom thinks shows true love. Tom does not take the break up well and Tom's friends call his younger sister, Rachel to calm him down.

Summer quits the greeting card company and Tom's boss moves him to consolations, as his depression is not suitable for happier events.

Months later Summer and Tom attend the wedding of a co-worker, they dance at the wedding and Summer catches the bouquet. They sit next to each other on the journey home and Summer invites Tom to a party at her apartment for the Friday. Tom attends the party and sees that Summer is wearing an engagement ring. Realizing what is being celebrated, he left the party.

Tom enters a deep depression, only leaving the house for alcohol and junk food. After a few days, he returns to work drunk and quits his job. He sets about re-applying himself as an Architect, makes a list of firms, and begins to attend interviews.

On day 488, he meets Summer at his favorite spot and they reconcile; he wishes her well. Twelve days later, on Wednesday, May 23, he attends a job interview and meets a girl, who is also applying for the same job. Before entering the interview, he makes a date to have coffee with her afterward. He asks her for her name, and she replies, "Autumn."

Why I love it :

Fashion-wise, I love Summer's (Emily Deschanel) outfits! The flirty 50's skirts and dresses, and of course, the 60's girly bangs. Very hip, she got the retro look to want to imitate. While Levitt's tie-and-sweater vests are also retro-hip.

The narrator (Tom, of course) in his probing

It's not your run-of-the-mill cheesy rom-com with characters to drool over with. In fact, it's an indie film that's full of quirks that endear you. One of the very honest movies I've seen. It showcased men - before, during and after a break-up. Though most of the movies made were portrayed by martryed women who endure sufferings of unrequited or abused love. A movie in a in a man's perspective - that made us, women, some how or some way understand men.

I've had my laughs when Tom and other film extras broke into dance of Hall & Oates' "You Make My Dreams", which seems like a musical at that moment.

Then, of course, I loved their witty dialogues. Like the drunk McKenzie, Tom's friend, he said " Oh my God...you're a dude!", after hearing Summer's declaration of not believing in love and not having a 'boyfriend'. Also, when Tom and Summer meet again after they broke-up and Summer got married, he said "You don't want to be named as someone's boyfriend, and now your someone's wife?"

I highly recommend you to watch this film - for it's deep, complex, funny, satirical, dramatic & comedic at the same time. Definitely worth of your time and penny!