Last Goodbye (The Finale)

I did not turned my back, because I made up my mind. I am his and he is mine.

And it happened.

I'm too deliciously exhausted to turn and open my eyes. But I couldn't help smiling and chuckling as chin gently scraped my cheek. Well, obviously we both did not regret this. But I felt an inkling. I am not a Saint. And I'm tired of following the rules, isn't it not okay to break the rules once in a while. To be normal? I know in my heart that this is not a one-night stand. Nor he'll dare to make me his mistress. He has scruples! And so do I. My thoughts simply vanished as I dared to turn and to catch his lips.

Inevitably, it happened again.

He invited me to a trip in a faraway land, a place of his childhood. No one knew him there now, his family left when he was five. So it's a safe getaway. It's nearby the ancient ruins by the sea. Of course, I was too excited, too nervous...and too joyful to care about the scruples, for this affair. We both knew that it'll our last days together. So we have to make the most out of it. There is no turning back, it's now or never. So I chose - now, no regrets.

I couldn't believe myself for my ability to fabricate lies, to make grand excuses because I am so eager to be with him again. We flew in to different planes but landed on the same airport. I never knew that I could be so daringly mad to pull off this stunt. But I did. All because of crazy, freaking, mad love! Till this day, no one knew where I have been during those days. I guess being secretive is somewhat natural to me.

There, we both became what we wanted. Free from all the cares, laws, rules and responsibilities. Not to mention, free from prying eyes and wagging tongues back home. It was bordering hedonism, I'd say. We wined and dined, flirted and danced, swam and ran, even fought and made-up. People oftenly mistaken us for a newly wed couple, which we laugh it off. Lovely mistake! I couldn't help but smile to his boyish grin when he saw my surprise as he registered our name in the hotel as Mr & Mrs. There were days that we spent most of the time outdoors, but mostly indoors indulging to sensual abandonment.

As our days become shorter, I willed myself not to become depressed as our last moment nears. We never talked about the future together but dream of things we wanted to fulfill. He urged me to go back to school and be a teacher as I wanted or planned to be when I was in my teens. When you wanted something, you may or can do everything in your hand to get it, he said. I was silent for a moment. I'm not sure if I'm pondering on being a teacher or being a looser for not having him. I did not do everything to have him. He must have read my thoughts. He said 'It's not your fault, nor mine. It's just that we are not fated to be together. In both ways, we could be proud and at the same time be ashamed of having the guts for defying the Divine righteousness. That's why we are both here, to be together. Even for a moment'

I couldn't breathe. He's hugging me too tight. And so do I. So this is it. The end of our story. There's next chapter for both us with different people, he said. Ours ends here. Find yourself someone who will love you more than I and more than you love yourself. Be keen to what they do and not to what they say! You're smart, so be more confident with yourself. Don't let anyone walk over you. Pray harder if you must! Life is too short so don't waste it to some looser! Then he roughly kissed my neck, cheek and lips. I don't care if people are staring at us. Though we are in the middle of busy passengers area in the airport.

We will flew in to different airline but I won't get to see his plane land at the airport back home. He'll be leaving for good, back to his wife and kids in the country near Indian Ocean. Willing ourselves not to cry, we bade goodbye in between the exchange of kisses. With, one last hard kiss and off we go to separate ways.

That's the last time I saw him. It's the end of it. Embracing life with more passion, I will live it with no regrets. Yes, I could have another man in my life, but I am sure not as intense as this nor I'll be as passionate as I am to him. He's the one that got away. I am a career woman, first and he, a family man. Time to face my world with renewed sense of being. I went back to school, and changed job. I avoided to rush everything to put any matter in a new perspective. I'm having more fun now than when I was younger. I am simply living life...not yet to the fullest, but I know...I'm getting there.