Final Goodbye

Suddenly reality knocked me out.

This is more wrong than right, I would never be a man's other woman...even if, for me he's "the one". With it, alarm bells rang in my ears...I pushed him but he won't stop, until I stopped responding and held myself stiff...he relented. Stopping for a moment, gasping for breath...he kissed my ear, then hugged me tightly; and murmured that I'm the one for him...It took him years that cost his arranged marriage and forced fatherhood to realize it. It's okay, I said to him, for I too, took me years to understand the reason why I can't have real connection with other men...because to me, he's "the one". I built him up so much in my mind and heart...that I never gave other men a chance to love me as I loved him. I think I have always known that, yet I preferred not to pursue it because it's downright unconventional. Besides, I'm so afraid of loosing the profound, real friendship that we have.

Summoning tons of my guts, I bravely asked him to stay...even for a while...before he left for good. He agreed. As we walked past the gate, passed the door, he reached for me and put my head in his chest, while buried his nose into my hair. My whole being quivered with anticipation. Then the inevitable happened.


(To be continued)